Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Art of Apology.

There are two skills that, if mastered, are guaranteed to enhance your life. The first is the art of sincere apology. The sort where you take full responsibility for your actions in an honest and non-defensive way, and you humbly commit to not doing that thing again. The second is true forgiveness (i.e., not the 'oh, it's okay' version when it's not actually okay). True forgiveness means accepting the apology- or even harder, accepting the facts of the matter without an apology- and letting go of a need to hold it over the head and heart of the person who has wronged you. These two things take practice and diligence and a commitment to rising above the petty, selfish satisfaction we take in holding grudges and avoiding apologizing. It takes courage to apologize and to forgive and leave the space for the relationship to heal and regrow at its own pace. 

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