Sunday, June 26, 2016

boundaries

This post has moved to its new home at: www.patreon.com/amymiller

Disclaimer: It is a subscription-based blog, but it's only $1/month (or $5-10 if you want allllll the content on the site). The idea behind this is that these posts are so popular that I could monetize them a tiny bit, because I have a 9 month old baby to feed, tbh. 


I'm an NF type like you, so I hope you realize I'm not trying to "trick" anybody into anything. So don't go read the rest if you feel some kind of way about me charging $1 a month or are going to send me a mean email about how I'm a sellout. But if you get the idea that people pay for good stuff, and you want high-quality daily advice delivered to your inbox, then check it out. Read a bunch of public posts before you subscribe if you'd like. NF types especially will like my format, I think. Thank you! :) 

the best words come from your mouth, not your fingers.

A client just informed me in no uncertain terms that Facebook is responsible for the downfall of human relationships. Agree or disagree?
Personally, I disagree, but then again, I don't use it for any drama-inducing and I don't carry on secret relationships with people I reconnected with on here. I think the real culprit is text messaging. It is virtually impossible to communicate clearly via text and yet we insist on carrying on deeply personal, important conversations this way. Text messaging allows us to heedlessly toss words at each other without taking proper time to craft what we are trying to say, as we would in a letter, and also costs us the option of managing our message in realtime as we see (or hear from inflection) how it is landing on the other person. There is so much room for error from both the sender and the receiver within the lack of nuance that I'm amazed any relationships survive that rely heavily on texting. I opine that the only real means to effectively communicate in a way that is productive, concise, and respectful is to speak to one another in real life. Preferably in person. One of my favorite quotes speaks to this notion: 

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

We will cover this and much more in the USE WORDS (aka Say What the F*** You Mean) class. Next session is Saturday, May 13th. Email me at amy@millercounseling.org for more information or to register.