Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Thing Is

The Thing Is

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Emotional Unavailability.

This is a great read that a friend sent me recently. It reflects what she's dealing with in her own life, but I think many of us can relate. We often find ourselves in these emotional loops where we are consistently disappointed by the reality of our relationship(s) and yet *endlessly hopeful* that things will change. The challenge is knowing when to keep hoping, and when to just let go. Even more difficult is taking responsibility for our own role in the pattern we've co-created, and seeing that we agreed to it by continuing to participate. It's easy to blame the emotionally unavailable person, but it is harder and ultimately more useful to see how our own stuff got us here. A gentle acceptance, coupled with the challenge to interrupt these patterns, is the kindest way to treat ourselves when we recognize what we're doing and wish to do it differently.